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The Bible offers us plenty of instruction about guarding our speech. The Book of James boldly exclaims:

“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3:6)

And in response we are told:

“Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” (Proverbs 21-23)

In today’s culture, our “speech” – which includes tweets, texts, posts, emails, etc. – shows evidence of rapidly abandoning mature, measured communication. People react rather than respond, using words to accuse, disparage, and destroy others. Foul language is so normative it has found its way into the Body of Christ, as has gossip and slander. I’m reminded of James 3:10:

“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, these things ought not to be so.”

I recall an encounter with a dad many years ago at another school that illustrates God’s power to purify our speech through conviction, humility, and obedience to His word.

One of the core tenets of that school, expressed plainly and often, was to practice biblical speech, and as Head of School, I had the responsibility to encourage and equip our community to that end. One Friday night, during a particularly tough football game, one of our dads was very upset at the officiating. His son, a gifted player destined to play D1 college football, was flagged several times for admittedly questionable infractions. The dad became increasingly angry, and with his booming voice let everyone in the stadium know.

In response, I quietly strolled down the steps and sat next to him as he stood yelling at the officials. Finally noticing me, he sheepishly sat down and said, “Oh, hello Mr. Allen.” I put my arm around his shoulder (a very BIG shoulder) and asked, “Do you think your speech is a good role model for your son? Do you think your speech honors our school? Do you think your speech honors the Lord?”

“No, I don’t,” he replied. “But…”

I gently interrupted him: “Some of the calls have been bad, and I understand your frustration. Would you be willing to have a cup of coffee with me a few times to walk this through with you?”

“Yes,” he replied, remaining quiet the rest of the game.

We met many times and talked about his life, his family, his successes, and failures. Over time he learned some of the origins of his anger (anger is usually the fruit of fear and insecurity), and that being angry is not itself a sin – it’s what we do with that anger that can cause us to sin. As Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us:

“Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. Give no opportunity to the devil.” 

The cool part of the story is that the dad asked if he could share his story at our New Family Orientation, to reinforce the value of biblical speech. His testimony was powerful and opened doors for others to find similar success. In the same manner, I encourage all of us to respond rather than react; to consider the context and possibilities in a situation, and to prayerfully ponder our speech before speaking – sometimes discovering that such “speech” isn’t necessary. As the Scripture says:

My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19)

Rick Allen serves as Liberty Christian's Biblical Worldview Coordinator. You can read more of his blogs here.